i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
