too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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