i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
