perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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