went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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