I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
