Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I could make wine with my vomit
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
