How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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