You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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