I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He better not be in your backpack
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
