i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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