You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize