If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
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