I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
