We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize