it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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