You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You can't special order awesome
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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