have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize