is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
