I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize