It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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