Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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