pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
