Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
