so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
