Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
