I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
