Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
