I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
