So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize