trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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