its not stalking. its research.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
