So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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