before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
