you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
