Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
