She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize