These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
