I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
