Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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