You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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