I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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