fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
