i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
