He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
