I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
