I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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