Sponge bath it is.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
