I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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