You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
