He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
