so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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