will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
