forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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