Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
