that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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