Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
