"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
