I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
