I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize