she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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