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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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